Looking Back

Through Timehop, an app that shows every post on social media you're ever made on that exact day in the past 7 years, I'm currently reliving the most emotional, life-changing time of my life. It's so amazing to see where I was 4 years ago and how much I've grown, changed, and learned mentally, emotionally and spiritually. So many memories, so many mistakes, so many victories. There were times when I lost my way, but God was still faithful and He was always there. If you told me 4 years ago that I would graduate with a degree in Psychology and be going to grad school, I probably wouldn't have believed you; my mind was set on being a pediatrician. I remember crying after a Chemistry test, wondering why the knowledge I thought I had wasn't reflecting on the exam. Though I'm "reliving" this major experience, I can't help but admire God's handiwork. It's amazing to know how God has orchestrated every step to lead me to this very moment. He works everything together for our good.

I know the story isn't over yet, but I've long since decided to let Him write it.

Selah [pause and think]

Reflections: June 5, 2014

Exodus 13:17-18

• God knew that the shortcut that went through the land of the Philistines would be trouble so He took the Israelites the longer way. I'm sure they groaned and complained, not knowing the dangers they were avoiding. How many times have we complained about the way that God is leading us, not realizing what He is saving us from? We need to trust that He's leading the way, the way to something good, and know that He sees the bigger picture.

These are my confessions...

Romans 5:5: "Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

It's April, I graduate in May, but this semester is pretty challenging. And then there's that pesky thing called senioritis...I've been pretty swamped lately and my mood hasn't been the best. After reading this verse, I started writing a list of positive confessions.

I've forgotten what I have inside.
I have hope.
I have a future.
I will overcome.
The best is yet to come.
With God I can.
I'm on my way to better days.
He's done so much for me.
He's making all things new.
His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
Everything is working together for my good.

#38daystil

No Pain, No Gain

First post of 2014! 

So, it's a new year, well, three months in and I've been on this whole working out thing. I've been attending a boot camp class at the gym pretty frequently in the past couple of weeks and though it seems tough at the time, the instructor is very encouraging. I keep going because I know it is for my benefit and I leave feeling great about myself. The next morning, I wake up sore in places I didn't even know existed and that's how I know the workout is actually working.

You know what's interesting? Trials work the same way. During the trials, you're sweating and exerting energy and it's just HARD. Sometimes you don't even know if you'll make it through. But the Instructor (God) is there, by your side, cheering you on. He knows that it's good for you and for your benefit. You walk away feeling better, stronger. It's only when it's over that you realize that you've worked out muscles of faith, hope, patience, forgiveness, etc.

James 1: 2-3 states, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 

Trials, just like working out, define us. Something of value WILL be produced. If we were couch potatoes and just ate cookies all day everyday, we'd probably never know what muscles have, more less what muscles are. Same with trials. If you never had a rainy day, you'd never learn to appreciate the sunshine. It's not easy going through it, no, not at all. But, at the end of the day, you're going to be stronger than you were before. Your Instructor's cheering you on! There so many promises in the Word. So, sweat on and persevere. You're coming out GOLD.

Selah [pause and think]

2013 Recap: He>i

So, as 2013 comes to an end, I've reflected on what a great year it was. 2013 was my year of opportunity. Many open doors and so much accomplished. I completed most of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. I can't even begin to thank God enough. So much happened this year. Turned 21, became a student youth leader at my church, took my GRE's, applied to grad school, made Dean's list, got a great campus job, had a great internship, got featured on my school's website, met amazing people, grew spiritually, had a reality check, smashed my laptop, been super busy, neglected my blog :( , realized that I don't know everything and the list goes on and on. Through the ups and downs, He was faithful. It's a beautiful thing when you can look back and see God's handiwork in your life.

One of the biggest lessons I learned in 2013, and there were many, was to get out of the way. I was reading John 3:30 which says, "He must increase, but I must decrease." What struck me was the word, "but."

'But' in this context implies that He can't increase if we don't decrease.  We have to get of the way. I never saw it that way. I often find myself doing things because I wanted to look good. Not for God's glory, but to maintain that "good girl" persona. At the time I read this verse, I was considering stepping down from ministry because of something I didn't like. I saw the impact that the youth group had on the youth and how God was moving, but I couldn't get over one little selfish thing that I wanted. This verse was a reality check. It reminded me that I was doing God's work to minister to Him and for Him and NOT for me. That day, I wrote, "I can play the background, but first I need to get out of the way. I need to remove myself from the spotlight and let You shine."

So I'll end 2013 and begin 2014 with this motto: He>i. He gets the glory, the spotlight and the accolades. What I do is for His Glory. I. Am. Second.

2013 was a great year but it's time to put that behind me and press on... 2014.

Word of Encouragement for you: "God has a plan for you this coming year. So, 'hats off to the past and coats off to the future!' Roll up your sleeves, go to work, and expect great things from God." (Word 4u 2day)

Selah [pause and think]

iPromise

It feels so good to finally blog again! 

For months before my 21st birthday, I was brainstorming gifts I could give myself that would actually have a significant meaning. So, I decided purity ring! What better way to celebrate turning 21 than to make a promise to God that I would keep myself pure for my unmarried days. Problem was, I've made that commitment already, without a ring.

I liked the ring idea, so I decided that I would get a ring, but it just wouldn't be a purity ring. I love the infinity sign and all it represents. Forever. How could I incorporate "Forever" into my life? Forever is like a promise. God has promised to be with me forever. No matter what relationships I may or may not be in. No matter if it's a good day or bad day. No matter what. He's what's constant in my life.

I proudly wear this infinity sign on my finger to remind me every day of the promise that God made to me. That He's with me forever and always. No matter what. So, as I navigate through the last year of my undergraduate career with grad school applications and my future looming over me, I have a tangible reminder, promise, that He's with me through it all.

Selah [pause and think]

Prayer Tips

Well, I finished my first read for the year, A Young Woman's Call To Prayer about two months ago. AWESOME read! I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to really catalyze their prayer life. BEWARE: Once you begin walking out this new prayer lifestyle, you may notice that it's a struggle to pray, only because the enemy doesn't want you to be more prayerful because you'll mess up his plans. Can I be honest? I had a week or two where I was extremely busy and didn't take time to sit down and be in God's presence or I was simply too lazy to.

Anyways, here are some tips that Elizabeth George gives for prayer with my own personal experience.

1. "Use a prayer list or notebook." This has definitely organized my prayer life and helps me remember what to pray for. I write down every prayer request that I have and also, those of others. I also write things that I'm thankful for which really helps me remember to thank God for them. I usually write a new list every 2 weeks, but during the week, I add points. Elizabeth advises to carry a small spiral pad or an index card so that when people ask you to pray for them and you aren't near your notebook, you'll remember. I use the note function on my phone.
2. "Schedule a prayer time each day." This was definitely one of the hardest things for me to do, with constant meetings, classes, exams, papers and activities, but after classes, before I went study was the best time for me during the semester. Now during the summer, I find that making it the first big thing I do in the morning with my cup of tea. BEST TIME EVER! In the book, Elizabeth recommended setting a timer for 5 minutes so that praying won't feel overwhelming. That definitely helped me at first, but now, once I get started I usually surpass the 5 minutes. As you continue, you begin to see this time as a necessity and not an obligation. Note: This doesn't mean you shouldn't be in constant communication with God during the day, but this is a time that you set aside to sit in His presence.
3. "Spend time praying with others." I haven't really done this one yet. Note to self: GET ON IT! 
4. "Pray using Scripture" In my prayer notebook, I write some verse that coincide with whatever the need may be. Do I know the whole Bible? NO! But Google has been my best friend. If you know snippets of the verse or don't know any verses on a certain topic, Google it! Ex. : Direction (Jeremiah 29:11; Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:9)
5. "Borrow from the prayers of others." I haven't done this one yet.
6. "Open and close each day with a time of prayer." Usually while I'm still in the bed, I thank God for waking me up and loving me. Simple. Then at night, I just thank Him for the day and ask for forgiveness of sin. Short and to the point because I fall asleep (hahaha). But if I'm still awake, I try to recap my day to Him.
7. "Get inspired by the biographies of others who prayed." Haven't done this one either. 
8. "Study the prayers of the Bible." The most common prayer is the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13).  Elizabeth also suggests Mary's Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55).
9. "Follow through with your resolve: No decision made without prayer." This one is definitely hard for me. I always forget to pray before I do many things. God, help me!
10. "Feed your heart and mind with God's word." This cannot be stressed enough. Sometimes you don't have the words to say, but there are Scriptures that say it all.

Remember, prayer is simply talking to God. Don't make it harder than it has to be and don't let these tips intimidate you. Just speak to God from the depths of your heart. He understands.

Selah [pause and think]

Opened Box

Confession: I have been working on another post for a week now. It requires research and I currently have no motivation to do the research. SMH... well, it's summer. I will be on my grind very soon. Anyways, during finals week, I don't remember what brought the thought about but I started thinking about society's view of beauty and how I measured up. My thoughts were so intense/compelling that I had to write them down. Here's what I got:

Opened Box
Beautiful, they say.
I wonder what they are talking about.
You see, I never really found beauty in my features.
Now, before you say I have low self-esteem, hear me out.
I'm no where near the coveted 5'11" with the slim build.
Nothing amazing.
I'll never be on the cover of a magazine.
But you see, society uses these features to put us in a box
They don't want us to be difficult or unique, but robots, identical to each other.
MY beauty lies in my relationship with my Creator.
MY beauty lies in my God-given talents and personality.
MY beauty lies in my morals and values.
MY beauty lies in my heart for others.
MY beauty lies in the desire to positively impact those around me.
You see, I never really thought of my physical features as beautiful because what's inside overshadows it by far.
In everything I do, in every experience I have, I find another facet of beauty.
Yet society chooses to limit beauty to one thing.
I refuse to indulge in that mindset.
Physical beauty chips, cracks, fades and disappears.
I, every aspect of me, was beautifully and wonderfully made, crafted by a skillful Artist.
To limit this beauty to only one aspect of me is just unfair.

Where does your beauty lie?

Selah [pause and think]

My First Read!

So, I finished reading through the Bible after reset/catching up my YouVersion (my favorite Bible app) plan many times. This year, my goal is to read 4-6 books, in addition to my personal devotion, that will catalyze my spiritual growth. My first read is A Young Woman’s Call to Prayer by Elizabeth George, which I started almost 3 weeks. So far, I learned many valuable tidbits about prayer. I've always know that prayer was important but as I read this book and as I spend more time in God's presence, I find myself more at peace than before. I also find myself craving alone time with God and shooting up little prayers during the day.  

It's not like I'm learning something brand new, but I'm seeing some verses in a new light. For example, yesterday, I read about how the Holy Spirit intercedes for us when we don't know what we should pray. (Romans 8:26-34). Verse 27 says that the Holy Spirit prays for us according to the will of God and in verse 31, it says if God be for us who can be against us. So basically, both the Holy Spirit and Jesus intercede on my behalf even when I don't know how to pray and they are praying according to the will of God. Therefore, everything in my life is working for my good and if they are on my side, fighting for  me, who/what can hurt me? WOW.

At the beginning of the book, we were encouraged to right down our commitment to prayer. Here's mine:

I commit to finding a quiet place to pray. I will pray constantly, consistently and persistently. Instead of giving up and worrying, I will pray because God has promised me His peace and His ears are open to me.

What's your commitment to prayer?

Selah [pause and think]

Sooo... how about those New Year Resolutions?

Every year, we make these resolutions (with intentions to keep them, of course) to better themselves. So it's January 14, you've probably been carrying out your New Year's Resolutions or already broken them. But instead of resolutions, why not create a healthy habit?

"Habits are powerful things. We form our habits, then our habits form us. So this year are you going to stop talking about it, and make it a habit to spend time with God in prayer each day? If your desire is to be like Jesus, you must begin to pray regularly," ~ Word 4u 2day

So one of my healthy habit for the year is to begin to pray without ceasing (1 Thes. 5:17), which just means that I never close lines of communication with God. Lately, I've gotten into the habit of recapping my WHOLE day to God while in bed. I usually don't finish because I fall asleep, but it's definitely a great way to end the day and it reminds me of people/situations I need to pray for.

So what about you? What healthy habits are you gonna create in 2013?

Selah [pause and think]

Check out Word 4u 2day here!

Something simply to remind myself that I have a blog...

So, on Thursday, December 13 at 10:01, I completed my first semester of Junior Year. This semester by FAR was my best semester EVER in college. Not just academically, but also spiritually and physically. I had so many opportunities and new experiences. I just thank God for it. I definitely got to really dive into my major, Psychology, and actually discover that I LOVE it. I’m so glad that God revealed to me where I should be. I ABSOLUTELY enjoy it thus far.

But that’s not really what I wanted to write about. One moment, in the final weeks of the semester, really stuck out to me. So, I’m the treasurer for the Gospel Choir at UMBC. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, we found ourselves having our Winter Concert on the same day as another major event on campus. To be honest, I was very pessimistic about our turnout. Thinking not many people would come, I only ordered 200 tickets. Within 4 days, the concert was sold out and MORE people wanted tickets. I couldn’t even believe it. I need more tickets and I was given 100 more. By ACCIDENT. The Director of Student Events went against protocol to give us extra tickets.

Thank God that He is not a conditional being. I don't deserve anything He does for me. Even when I doubt Him, He still comes through right in the nick of time. When you least expect it. There was noooo way that we should have had the turn out that we did, but with God ALL things are possible.

Seems like a lot of the Christian walk is summed up in two words: TRUST GOD.

Selah [pause and think]

Loving Me.

I was talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about relationships. He was talking about how much he needed a relationship and how he was tired of being lonely. Yet, he couldn't give me a logical reason of why he needed to be in a relationship. FIRST, If you're not happy by yourself there is NO WAY that you'll be happy with someone else. That's the thing people don't understand and then they get angry when the relationship doesn't work out. Take the time to love, embrace and enjoy YOU. This goes beyond relationships... It also applies to just being generally happy with life (which is the direction I am taking this post).


I love this quote from Clark Moustakas, "Accept everything about yourself. I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end- no apologies, no regrets." 


And I love this verse even more, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb." (Psalm 139:13) If God knew every single, teeny, tiny detail, of your existence, your failures and successes, and loves you the same, what more could you ask for? If you're not happy, ask Him for his joy, ask Him to show you how much He loves you, and He will. He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother or a lover. A person, place or thing won't make you happy, they can only add to it.


Selah [pause and think]